Madeline Ashby’s vN chronicles the life of Amy, a sentient vN-model robot born into a mixed robot-human family. Amy’s human father has slowed her rate of growth to that of a human child, in hopes of integrating her seamlessly into human society, but when Amy turns five her maternal grandmother, Portia (who is a perfect copy of Amy and her mother), shows up and tries to steal Amy away.
Another Earth opens on a night of dramatic occurrences. Rhoda Williams (Brit Marling), a brilliant seventeen-year-old who’s just gotten into MIT, causes a car accident which leaves a man in a coma and kills his wife and son. Just as she steps out of the car, shell shocked, to survey the damage she’s caused, the radio broadcasts that a new planet has been discovered in the night skies—one that scientists believe could be very similar to Earth.
“Never at Home” is a collection of seven short stories which range from fantasy to science fiction, some taking place in mundane, contemporary settings and some having to do with intergalactic wars and alien species. The stories all feature female protagonists and deal with questions of human nature, morality, and the price one pays for interacting with the fantastical. However, the tone, pacing, and quality of the stories vary greatly. Some stories sparkle off the page while most drag on and seem to arrive nowhere.
Hello and welcome to part 1 of Three Keys in the Desert, my science fiction novella. Over the course of June 2017 I posted the entire thing on my website! To read the 26 parts of the story just scroll down and start below.
If you’d rather read the story as one book, you can buy the ebook. To stay updated on future projects, you sign up for my New Release Mailing List.
Kim’s clothes clung to his skin, soaked with sweat. His head pounded from the heat.
He forced himself to walk faster. He’d walked home once before in daylight, years ago, discharged early from the infirmary with a fractured arm, but the painkillers had made everything a blur. He didn’t remember the heat pressing down on him, or the ground under his boots being this shade of yellow.
The shaded entrance to his building got closer, until finally he stood on cool, hard cement. There were no temperature adjustment systems in the district, the only place with electricity was the Compound, but still the peeling, gray walls of the lobby felt like a cool breath compared to being outside.
Kim paused before going up the stairs to the second floor. Supposedly “some woman” was waiting for him in his room. The kid who’d delivered the message couldn’t give Kim any more details, but it was pretty obvious this was one of Sol’s games. She wasn’t usually sober enough for something so elaborate, but once in a while she was known to make an exception. The only surprising thing was that she’d chosen the district to deal with him, in the middle of the day, when everyone was at the Compound.
On the second floor, the door to Kim’s room was slightly ajar. Of course she’d want to do it here, where he slept. Sol was never short on imagination when she wanted to torture people. At least none of his friends would be here to see it.
He braced himself before pushing the door open.
Vrei examined the bed by the window. It was clearly crooked, one of its four metal legs broken and another one cracked.
An unforeseen emergency in the district that Vrei had no idea how to fix, and it wasn’t even lunch yet.
“This is just great,” she said, crouching on the floor to examine the damage.
Ebie was slumped on her desk, forehead resting on piles of paperwork, when the door to her office slid open. She looked up to see Len, finally returned, carrying a steaming cup in each hand.
She forced her spine to unbend and her body to settle itself upright in the chair. The trip to 942, the long walk in the sun, the stress of trying to not get caught, made the day feel a thousand times longer. She wasn’t usually this exhausted so early in the evening, even the week before Transfer Day. At least the bright, artificial lights in the Compound made falling asleep on her desk more difficult.
Claudia couldn’t tell how long it had been since she’d dropped her bags on the floor of her new accommodations. She only knew her shuttle had landed during daylight—the heat had pressed down on her like a steel crate—but it was now dark outside.
She looked around her new quarters again. There was a sofa, a bizarre painting on the wall, and a doorway leading, presumably, to her bedroom. Bare and empty, just like her purpose for being in this useless place. She took another swig from the bottle, already half empty. The drink was smooth, sliding down her throat like thick honey. They used to brew it in field hospitals during the War—a mixture of cheap drugs and rough liquor. Claudia had managed to procure a few bottles, before boarding the transport. No sense in saving it—she’d likely be stuck on this rock for the rest of her life. Didn’t matter if the good stuff lasted her two weeks or two months.
Not that she was complaining. It wasn’t complaining, stating the obvious. Just like those bastards at her court martial—just stating the obvious. She took another swig.
Kim woke up with a start, nearly knocking his head against the top bunk. The air was chilly, and the room an unfamiliar shade of gray. There were weird noises coming from the hallway. He groaned and covered his face with the blanket. Why were people stomping around outside? The sun hadn’t even come up yet.
He tossed the blanket aside and put a careful foot on the floor. The stone was unpleasantly cold, but it was too early for socks. There had to be at least an hour until reveille. He was going back to sleep once he was done yelling at whoever was out there. He rubbed at his face and pushed his hair out of his eyes before standing up.
He was leaning against the bed, pulling on a pair of uniform pants, when he noticed the top bunk was empty. Tyen must have woken up from the noise before Kim did.
Every other bunk seemed occupied, although the light barely let Kim make out the shapes of his sleeping roommates. The hallway was better, even at this hour, thanks to a row of large windows. Kim shut the door to his room slowly, careful not to wake the others. The noise was coming from the direction of the stairs. Far to his right, he could see people rushing past the dark landing, running up one by one. Their boots and bare feet knocked against the stone, the sound amplified by the empty hallway.
Kim walked over, trying to be as quiet as he could, but before he could grab someone and ask them what was happening, Dej appeared. She was coming up from the first floor, dressed in pants and an undershirt. Apparently he’d missed her bunk being empty.
She paused when she saw him, but only for a second. “Hey,” she said, before taking another step, and another. A boy rushed past her, forcing her to grab the railing.
“What’s going on?” Kim said.
Dej kept moving, getting higher up the stairs and farther away from him. “Sol’s dead.”
Kim followed her, but there were already a few people between them. “What?”
“Woke up when Tyen left,” she said without stopping. “Caught up with him at number 8.”
“What are you talking about?” They’d been at Sol’s building? Maybe he was still asleep and this was a dream.
“I want to see them wheel her out,” Dej said.
Kim climbed the stairs faster, two at a time, to keep up with her.
“What?” he said. Ahead of them a girl stumbled, nearly hitting her head on the stone. Dej went around her, squeezing herself against the wall. They were nearly on the third floor and the stairs were getting even more crowded. Half the building was here.
“Where’s Tyen?” Kim said, raising his voice. A few more steps and he was on the landing.
Dej stood in front of him, waiting. Behind her he could see people plastered against the hallway windows.
“The Key is dead,” Dej said, slowly, using her hands to accentuate each word. The light was strong enough now that the burn scars on her arms were visible, scattered patches of light brown. Kim couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her without sleeves.
“Sol?” he said, still not sure whether he was awake. “Sol’s dead?”
“Come on,” Dej said, rolling her eyes, and dragged him to the windows.
The view was mostly of other buildings, strewn here and there across 942’s territory, but in the distance Kim could see the Compound, like a thick black line, stretching to the edges of the horizon. In the sunlight it usually gleamed, but now it just looked dull, like a void. There were three tiny figures dragging a flat object between them, moving quickly up the dusty path leading to the 942’s gate. Kim tried to stand on his toes to get closer to the glass somehow. It did look like the medics were wheeling out a gurney.
“She probably got high and hurt herself,” he said.
“I saw the body,” Dej said. “She jumped.”
“Or someone pushed her,” someone else said. It started a wave of giggles. Kim’s eyes stayed glued to the procession in the distance.
He watched the medics use some kind of special code to open the gate and wheel the gurney inside. He watched as the gate closed again behind them, probably locked again until reveille. People around him started to disperse back to their rooms, no longer bothering to be quiet. He kept watching the space where the gurney disappeared until Dej pulled him by the shoulder, forcing him to turn around.
“She’s not dead,” Kim said, because Sol couldn’t be. It made no sense. It couldn’t just happen like this, while everyone was sleeping. It had to be a trick or a misunderstanding.
“Her brains were all over the street,” Dej said.
Around him Kim heard the slamming of doors, someone shouting. He’d imagined Sol’s death so many times over the years. This was too quiet, too understated. Could it be true? Dej’s face told him it had to be.
“I wonder who did it,” he said, still feeling dazed. There was definitely no going back to sleep now. What did Sol’s death even mean?
“I wonder who’s in charge now,” Dej said.
Sol’s First would be the obvious answer, but they both knew Arai wasn’t up to it. She could barely do Sol’s paperwork. Which meant…
“Where’s Tyen?” Kim said.
Dej looked down at her boots, dusty from being outside. “Don’t know. Thought he followed me back here, but—”
Worry rose like bile in the back of Kim’s throat. “He was at number 8? He saw the body?”
Dej nodded, still avoiding his eyes.
Tyen should have come back by now, should have tried to find him. “How did he look?”
“Didn’t say much,” Dej shrugged. “I was keeping an eye on him but then he just… disappeared.”
Kim took a deep breath. He couldn’t blame Dej, Sol’s body must have been hard to look away from. “Shit,” he said, before rushing back towards the stairs.
“Boots!” Dej yelled after him, and Kim remembered he was still barefoot. He ran back into his room, swerving to avoid people in the hallway, grabbed his shoes and ran back out again before any of his friends could stop him. All his roommates were awake now, arguing about whether the rumors were true.
Kim rushed out of the building but then forced himself to stop and take a few deep breaths of the chilly air. Tyen could still be somewhere around number 8. He was good at hiding and the medics could have missed him when clearing the area. He could have gone back to his old room, in his old building, where he used to live before he’d met Kim. Sol had kept him there for over a year, letting a couple of fourthyears use him as a punching bag until they ruptured his spleen. Those fourthyears were elders now, and they wouldn’t give Tyen up without a fight.
Before Kim could decide where to go first he heard a loud, angry scream, coming from somewhere over his head. He looked up to see a silhouette on the roof of the building across from his, perched on the edge, swaying unsteadily. It was a boy, but he was smaller than Tyen, his hips too narrow, his hair all wrong. Kim bent over to let out a breath and felt his hands shaking.
On the ground, the boy’s friends were yelling for him to come down. They were all secondyears. The boy on the roof screamed again, and this time Kim understood the words. He wanted everyone downstairs to be quiet, he was trying to grab a cloud and climb on it. In a minute he’d be another body for the medics to clean up.
Kim pushed a few people out of the way as he ran over, rushing past the lobby of the building and running up the stairs. A few of the boy’s friends followed him, as if suddenly realizing getting to the roof was an option. The hallways were half empty, most of the doors shut. Word about Sol must not have reached here yet.
Kim ran up to the third floor, and then raced across the corridor to the rusty, metal ladder, hidden in a cove in the wall, that led up to the roof. The door to the roof was protected by a heavy mechanism, supposedly for maintenance crews only, though Kim had never seen anyone do any maintenance in his years in the 745.
The bulky, electronic mechanism on this one was broken, and covered in something dark and sticky. Kim pushed up against the door, the recoil so heavy he could feel it leaving bruises on his shoulder, until on the third try it lifted and let him onto the flat surface of the roof, which was covered in a thick layer of dust and sand. Kim pushed himself up to his feet and didn’t bother to wipe off the stains from his uniform.
The boy didn’t notice Kim, too busy reaching his hands out to the sky and yelling at the people downstairs to be quiet. There were at least ten paces between them, but Kim could already smell the sickly-sweet tang of sau. The boy must have stolen someone’s stash and smoked it while everyone was busy watching Sol’s funeral.
Kim was two steps away from the boy when one of the secondyears who followed him stumbled and fell, making a sound and drawing the boy’s attention.
The boy spun, disoriented, his foot slipping enough that he was only barely standing on the roof, but before Kim could reach for him the boy’s body gave out, making him collapse. Kim grabbed his arm and dragged him away from the edge, kneeling in the dust. He cradled the boy’s head, trying to get his eyes open. Like in every case of sau poisoning Kim had ever seen, there was nothing but white under the lids.
“Get him up,” Kim said to the boy’s friends, getting to his feet. There was nothing more he could do. “You have to get him to the Compound by first bell.”
“Is that… really going to matter today?” the girl said, draping the unconscious boy’s arm around her shoulder.
Kim was about to say yes, of course it would, Compound attendance always mattered because it was tied to how many vouchers the district got, everyone knew that, but then he stopped, words frozen on the tip of his tongue.
Sol was gone. Who knew what the rules were anymore?
“Get him to the showers,” Kim said, dusting off his knees. “Ice cold until he wakes up,” He was about to add bring him to Sol if he doesn’t. “Just… drag him to the Compound by first bell, either way.”
He had to find Tyen.
Back inside the building, the hallways were chaos. Crowded and noisy, the stairs were clogged with people trying to go up or down, Kim could barely tell. Vivid descriptions of Sol’s exposed bones sticking out of her skin, her eyes on the sand, were repeated around him as Kim tried to push through. He reminded himself that whatever Tyen saw, it was over now. All Kim could do was try to find him before someone else did.
By the time he finally managed to get back to the lobby and get some fresh air his head spun. He’d never been good with so many people in a small space. The last time he’d been on a transport, crammed together with hundreds of other ten year olds, he’d thrown up twice a day until the doctor had given him something to knock him unconscious.
He stumbled around the building’s perimeter until he found an empty, smooth patch of wall to lean against, and let his eyes focus on the slowly brightening sky. The warm breeze and the clouds helped calm the frantic beating in his ribcage.
“We have a problem,” Dej’s voice said, forcing Kim to open his eyes again.
She stood just out of arm’s reach, surrounded by a bunch of thirdyears. One of them had bruises running from her cheekbones to beneath the collar of her shirt, another was shaking, face red, clearly trying to hold back sobs.
“They’re asking to move in,” Dej said. “I told them we don’t have the beds, but they wanted to hear it from you.”
Kim pushed himself away from the wall. A lot of people had gotten it into their heads over the years that his building was some kind of haven, as if surviving a few of Sol’s punishments gave him special powers. But people directly asking him for permission to move in was new. Usually they either begged or bribed Sol to let them do it, or moved in without informing anyone, and were eventually kicked out.
“Take it up with Arai,” Kim said, walking past them towards the street.
“Please,” said the girl with the bruises. “We can sleep in the hallway.”
Kim remembered that tone. Tyen had sounded like that when they first met, in the infirmary.
He shot Dej a pleading look.
“You got his answer,” Dej said to the girl. “Same as mine.”
Kim didn’t stay to hear the rest of their conversation. He walked ahead, past the crowd slowly gathering in front of the building. Everyone seemed to be rushing outside to find out the latest gossip. The streets were getting more and more crowded, each building took longer and longer to pass. He had to get to number 8 before reveille woke up whoever was still asleep, make sure Tyen wasn’t there at least.
He tried to walk faster.
Along the way he saw people tearing up their bed sheets and tossing them out of windows, like ropes. One fifthyear threw a chair at another and hit a building door, knocking it off its hinges. The smell of sau in the air was stronger than Kim ever remembered it being, even after a Shutdown.
Closer to the Compound the streets were clearer. Kim’s back straightened, his fingers clenched into fists. The buildings around number 8 were mostly occupied by Sol’s favorite elders, and the atmosphere here was quiet. It was a bad neighborhood to be alone in. He wished he’d remembered to put on a shirt.
A few people wandered the street here and there. He made sure not to meet anyone’s eyes.
The reveille sirens sounded, deafeningly loud so close to the gate. Kim had never been outside for them before. He stopped and covered his ears, though the sound felt like it was penetrating his bones. When it was over and he lowered his hands, instead of the previous quiet he heard screaming.
He turned around, trying to find the source, searching for any sign of Tyen. There was suddenly not enough oxygen to fill up his lungs.
Someone crashed into him, nearly knocking him down. It was a girl. It took a moment but he recognized her—they were in the Palace together. Her uniform was covered in blood, chest to thighs. He hadn’t noticed her running in his direction, but she must have. She looked as startled as he was. In her hand was a large, sharp piece of something shiny. Kim barely caught a glimpse of it before she got over the shock of his existence and ran past him, away from the gate.
He looked at where she must have come from—a few buildings away, the only place in 942 with a mirror in the lobby. There had to be other shards, and there would definitely be people eager to use them.
At the edge of his vision something caught Kim’s attention, a familiar shape by the gate. By the time his mind registered Tyen’s stooped posture, the way he slouched back and forth, as if waiting for the gate to open, the aimless look of him, Kim was already running, yelling out Tyen’s name.
When Kim got close enough to grab him by the shoulders, Tyen didn’t look surprised. His white undershirt looked clean, as did his pants. Kim spun him, a little forcefully, but Tyen didn’t try to object. His undershirt was dirty in the back, but not bloody or torn. Kim ran his fingers quickly over Tyen’s sides, his stomach, his kidneys, but there was no flinching, no bruises.
He felt the oxygen rush into his lungs, slowly. Tyen was in one piece, here, safe. Sol was dead and everything was falling apart, but at least this one thing was fine.
He was panting, from the run, from the entire morning.
Tyen’s eyes slid away to the ground when Kim tried to face him. They stood in silence for a few seconds while Kim caught his breath.
“Where have you been?” Kim said.
“Just… walking around,” Tyen said. He didn’t smell like sau, at least. That boded well.
His eyes suddenly widened, fixed on Kim’s stomach. “Did you…” his voice shook.
Kim looked down. There were a few smears of blood on his skin. It must have come from the girl with the mirror.
“No, no,” he said, grabbing Tyen’s shoulders again. “I’m fine.”
Tyen’s eyes still wouldn’t meet his, but his arms wrapped around Kim, comfortingly strong like always. Kim buried his fingers in Tyen’s thick curls. His hair was full of dust and sand, like he’d been rolling around on the ground.
The world around them was still. It was too early for anyone to be by the gate. Kim wondered how many people would even show up today.
“I saw the body,” Tyen whispered, mouth against Kim’s ear. “It was all in pieces. I think… I think she’s dead.”
Kim kissed the side of Tyen’s head. Although Tyen was a year younger they’d always been the same height.
“What happens now?” Tyen said.
Kim stared at number 8, beyond Tyen’s shoulders. It looked the way it did every morning, when Kim passed it on the way to the Compound, in the general stream of everyone trying to make it before first bell.
“Can you get home without me?” Kim said into Tyen’s hair. The air was starting to get warmer, but Tyen’s body heat still felt good against his skin.
Tyen was silent for a long moment. “I think so. Where are you going?”
“Find Dej,” Kim said, pulling away. “She probably has a plan by now.” He leaned in and gave Tyen a brief, shallow kiss. A taste of reassurance, before he let go.
“I’ll be there soon,” Kim said, and walked in the direction of number 8.
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Claudia awoke to the realization that the pounding in her head had indeed been an echo of the incessant buzzing at the door. Unfortunately, she realized once she lifted her head up from the carpet, her skull had simply been waiting for the right moment to start pounding on its own.
It took her about three times as long as it should have to rise from the floor. Each sudden movement meant a spike of pain in her lower back. She couldn’t believe she’d let herself fall asleep lying flat on the ground like this. She usually knew to treat her old injuries better; her right side felt like it’d been regrown all over again.
The buzzing kept coming at steady intervals until finally Claudia struggled all the way up to press the button next to the door. At least she’d remembered to activate the door’s locking mechanism the night before.
The man standing in the hallway looked as distressed as he was disheveled. “My apologies, Colonel, I know you’re still recovering from your flight.”
What was his name? Mark? Michael? Michael.
“I’m afraid there’s been an incident.”
“What?” Claudia’s mouth was dry and her head felt heavier than a transport ship.
“One of the students in district 942 was found dead this morning. I…” His eyes darted anxiously between the door, the floor and Claudia’s face. “It… seems to have been suicide.”
Claudia wasn’t sure what reaction the man was looking for. All she could think about was how badly she needed to sit down.
“We’re still trying to determine the exact details…” He coughed. “I’m… I just thought you should know.”
Claudia yawned, using the opportunity to stretch her arms. Her back felt like one massive bruise. “Report to me once you have something concrete,” she half-mumbled and pushed the button again without waiting for his reply.
She badly needed a painkiller but whatever medical facility they had on this rock, she was in no condition to get there. How drunk had she been last night? She could remember bits and pieces. There had definitely been a bottle—where had it disappeared to? There were no broken pieces on the floor. She’d… gone out? Outside? Yes, that seemed likely. She remembered seeing the stars. And there had been a conversation, though she couldn’t remember with whom.
Claudia stepped out of the bathroom and walked slowly, her body still struggling to regain its balance, to her suitcase. She rummaged through the contents until she found something to wear that didn’t stink from three days’ travel and a night on the floor.
The buzzing at the door—sudden and loud—made her curse violently before getting up again. She’d been pondering a shower—she certainly needed one—but of course the man whose name was presumably Michael was back. This time he stepped inside, ignoring the absence of an invitation, and held out a cup of warm tea. It was a pleasant surprise that made Claudia reevaluate her previous impression of him as an incompetent idiot.
“There’s been a very troubling development,” Michael said, turning his back to her as he casually looked over the room. The familiarity of it was mildly disturbing; Claudia would have to set better boundaries with her new subordinates than her predecessor had managed to.
She took a sip of the tea and spat it out on the carpet. It startled Michael into giving her a surprised look. Claudia was torn between embarrassment and wanting to smother him with her bare hands for giving her the sourest, most bitter liquid she’d ever tasted.
“Sorry,” she bit out.
“No, I should have warned you,” he said apologetically. “It’s a local brew. Taste takes getting used to.”
Getting used to? There were probably better tasting sewers.
“As I said, there’s been a development. I should have asked you earlier, really, but…” He let his hands hang aimlessly in the air. “I had no idea you’d had a chance to meet her already.”
“Meet who?”
“Sol. The Key of 942.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Claudia said. Had she really met someone the night before? She should have known better than to get completely wasted her first night at her new post. All she remembered were fragments of Martin’s face.
“Colonel, I understand you were a bit…” He hesitated for a fraction of a second. “Tired, last night, but surely you remember talking to a girl in the garden? It couldn’t have been very late, Sol was seen in her district a few hours past last bell.” He paused. “There was a young boy with her?” He added hesitantly, as if afraid she’d lost her mind as well as her memory.
“I remember him,” she lied.
“Right. Bo. It seems you appointed him to be a Key, last night.”
His words lay in the gray zone between statement and question and Claudia felt that gave her the right to reply in kind. “I did.”
“Yes.” He seemed even more confused than a second ago. “Why did you do that, exactly?”
Claudia’s headache was getting steadily worse. “I asked for a status report,” she said. “What about the boy?”
“Right,” Michael said. “He was the one who found her. Sol. He told her First what happened. That you demoted Sol and appointed him to be the Key instead.”
Claudia closed her eyes and rubbed at her face, trying to remember. “Remind me what a Key is, again.”
Michael took a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself, and sank down unto the sofa. “I suppose you haven’t had time to read the reports we sent ahead.” He kneaded his forehead and leaned forward to stare at the floor.
If Claudia hadn’t already admitted to herself she’d made mistakes the night before she’d have put a stop to his tone. A conversation about hierarchy and appropriate respect was definitely in order. “Unfortunately, I haven’t had the time,” she said, letting an icy note slip into her voice.
Michael straightened his back. “Every few years we choose a student from each section of the living quarters and make them responsible for maintaining basic order. Between the Resource Conservation Act and the difficulty of reaching this moon, we simply don’t have the personnel to do it otherwise.” He paused, looking up at Claudia, as if expecting a sign that any of this information was familiar.
She gestured for him to go on, keeping her expression neutral.
“In exchange,” he continued, “they get a private room, a staff keycard, the promise of a good reference when they enlist. This morning one of them was found dead. She would have been eighteen years old in two days.” He let the words hang in the air for a moment, almost like an accusation. Claudia frowned.
Michael rose to his feet and his tone turned sharper. “Bo is what the students call a ‘kid’, someone who’s been at the school for two years but only transferred to the district less than a year ago. You can see how making someone like that a Key could cause problems, Colonel.”
He was probably right, but the fog in Claudia’s head made it difficult to be sure. How could she have let herself end up here, scrutinized by a man who didn’t even hold military rank? As if merely being stationed on this rock wasn’t enough. “If the boy shouldn’t have the job,” she said, finally. “Then rescind my order. I’ll approve the change or whatever’s necessary.”
Michael began to pace. “The rules state that the Head can appoint a new Key only once in the space of a year. Right now, the children consider the rules sacred. If we start undermining the Keys’ authority and they start losing faith in the system…” he trailed off, eyes staring straight at Claudia again.
The silent accusations were slowly grinding down the last shreds of her patience. This school had students effectively raising each other with no supervision—nothing she could have done last night could make things worse.
“In that case,” she said. “I suppose there’s no going back. The boy’s appointed, I’m sure you’ll make it work.”
Michael paused. For a moment his face was a perfect portrait of shock—lips parted, eyes wide. But a second later his face was back to itself and he walked, hands in his pockets, past Claudia to stand by the door. “I’ve scheduled a meeting with the other Keys and Arai—Sol’s… you might say second-in-command. I hope that wasn’t too pertinent,” he said. “They’ll be waiting in your office in half an hour.”
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Ebie took the long way from the Head’s office back to her own. Her brain was a box of static She knew the part of the Compound that belonged to the 745 like the back of her hand, but instead of taking the direct route she walked from the entrance to the staff areas, at the heart of the Compound, all the way back to her district’s gate. At least the corridors were mostly empty at this hour, just after breakfast.
She walked into the mess hall, empty except for a few fluffs cleaning the tea machines. They startled when they saw her, making her walk right back out again. She couldn’t hide out here.
Eventually she would have to get back to her office. If she left the Compound now it would take her hours to come back, and she didn’t have that kind of time. Rounds, meetings, spreadsheets, check-ups, none of it could wait.
Her fists clenched as she turned around again, and walked back into a gray, metal corridor. Her feet wanted to keep walking but her mind was clear enough now that she knew she had to go back. She had to keep functioning somehow.
She didn’t register anything except her office doors parting automatically to let her in. Her chair, worn and thinly padded, had been a gift from Sol. She’d helped Ebie get rid of the old, rusted one during Ebie’s first week as Key. Sol had taught her how to trick the supply office into parting with one of theirs in exchange for a favor. Ebie’s predecessor had never spent enough time in his office to bother.
She didn’t notice Len sitting in his usual seat until she heard his voice say “How was it?”
Of course—she’d told him to wait for her after the meeting, before anyone knew what it would be about.
“I heard about Sol,” Len said, hesitantly. “They announced it while you were gone.”
She couldn’t look at him. Her jaw already hurt from gritting her teeth, her chest was already on fire. The things she’d done behind Sol’s back for his sake. It made her want to claw the skin off her own bones.
“They said it was suicide—” Len began to say.
“It wasn’t suicide,” Ebie interrupted. “She was a Key for four years. She would never—” her voice faltered. She cleared her throat. “She wouldn’t have just given up.”
“You think someone… killed her?” Len’s brows were furrowed in disbelief. “I know her district’s had problems, but—”
“I don’t know,” Ebie said. “Nothing adds up.” She couldn’t stay in this office, coming here was a mistake. She needed to be alone, and moving. But walking around the halls would mean questions, especially after that stupid announcement. Why couldn’t Michael have at least waited until after the meeting before announcing it to the whole school? She wished she could go back to her room, lock the door and not deal with anyone for a week.
“So, Arai’s in charge now?” Len asked.
Ebie felt the anger flare up again. “No, some kid. You’ve seen him waiting for Sol.” The words felt like picking at an open wound. “She used to drag him to Key meetings just to annoy me? Supposedly the Head appointed him last night.”
She could tell the exact moment Len’s brain supplied the right visual. He stared at her wide-eyed. “That kid?”
If only Michael had seen it that way. If only Vrei hadn’t folded so quickly. “The new Head looked like she just woke up from a bender.” Ebie rested her fingers on the desk, forcing herself not to grab the nearest pile of paperwork and tear it to little pieces. “Could barely say two words, Michael did all the talking. I don’t think she even remembers what happened.” If Arai had just kept her mouth shut Michael would probably never have known.
Len let out a breath. “At least now it makes sense.”
It took a moment for the words to sink in before they started to tug at Ebie’s insides. “What?”
“Killing herself,” Len said. “It didn’t make any sense before.”
Ebie forced herself to take a breath. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to find a thread of calm. If things were different, if she hadn’t been forced to… but she’d betrayed Sol just like the rest of them. Whatever Vrei’s mistakes were, Ebie had made her own choices. She’d chosen to go behind Sol’s back to get what she needed, so what right did she have to be angry?
Ebie slammed her hand on the desk. It felt good. The stinging in her palm felt like an anchor. She had to focus.
“Get out,” she said.
Len looked startled. “I’m sorry, Eebs. Obviously you knew her better than I did.”
He didn’t deserve this. But neither had Sol. “Get out,” she said again, quieter.
He got up quickly, chair screeching against the floor. “I’ll see you at lunch. Leo’s got a stomach thing, we need to—”
“I don’t want to see you,” Ebie said, “until further notice.” Her eyes burned, from her lashes to the inside of her skull to her throat. She had to make him leave before she lost control of herself, before she took the anger out on the only person who’d never fight her back.
Len was silent for a moment. “Right. Sure,” he said, finally. The doors made a soft sound closing after him.
Ebie glanced at the desk littered with medical reports, requisition forms, housing requests. She sank lower in her chair and stared at the walls.
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