Author Archives: Marina Berlin

Reading “Pride and Prejudice” – Chapter 1

Hello friends! 6104-square-1536

We meet again 🙂

If you’re new here, I’m reading Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” for the first time ever!

Here’s a post explaining the background of that decision

So, today is just a short update about the first chapter, since I read it a while ago and wrote down some notes and haven’t allowed myself to move on in the book until I finish writing them up.

General Thoughts


This will sound weird to people familiar with Austen’s writing, but a thing I was surprised by in this book is… how much it’s a 19th century novel? Like, the prose, the style, the pacing. I think it was so surprising – and comforting, in a way – because I’ve seen many Austen adaptations and none of them feel like 19th century stories? Nor should they, of course, they’re modern creations and they feel modern. The way they approach characters and dialogue and pacing, it’s designed to feel fresh and new instead of stale and old.

But I grew up on a lot of 19th century fiction, though much of it not written in English, and those particular tropes and conventions of storytelling feel very comforting and familiar to me. So, it was a pleasant surprise to discover that Austen did indeed write in a style I recognize and know how to parse, even though I’ve never read anything of hers.

The slowness, I think, is how I’d describe it? Even though the entire first chapter is basically just a dialogue between Mr and Mrs Bennet, haha, which some would say was a very modern way of opening a book. But Austen’s prose takes its time in a way I recognize and appreciate. I don’t know why, but it literally made me go “oh! This is just a 19th century novel! Great.”


The first line, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”, was a lot to take in.

– I know the quote well, and have seen it remixed it thousand times, but I didn’t know it was literally THE OPENING LINE of the book!

– Wait, that line ISN’T ABOUT MISTER DARCY?! WHAT. HOW. WHY. Who is this Bingley and why should I care about him? (I know, I know, he’s Cicero from “Rome”.) How could such an epic, recognizable quote NOT BE ABOUT THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST?!  I’m positively despondent.


In general, reading this book feels a little bit like watching Shakespeare as an adult. Uh, no wait, that needs more of an explanation. I read Shakespeare in Russian, growing up (my parents had a beautiful hardcover edition of all the plays and books of his sonnets), and didn’t watch a proper, full-length play in English until I was an adult. The language was suddenly SO WEIRD because it was an endless collection of quotes and references that I’d already heard in various English pop media.

“Pride and Prejudice” feels a bit like that. Like the text is the basis for so many references and quotes, the prose feels like reading the original of so many copies and remixes I’ve been exposed to. I have nothing interesting to say about this, it’s just interesting that this and Shakespeare are my two references points for this.


Character Thoughts

The only characters we have so far are Mr & Mrs Bennet, and I guess this is a good time to talk about how they’ve always been my least favorite characters in various adaptations, and I wonder if the book will change that.

The filmed adaptations I’ve seen always present Mr Bennet as essentially a Cool Dad who doesn’t care about oppressive social norms like the pressure on women to marry, he just wants to do cool things like read and hang out and he appreciates his daughters for who they are, while their mom is annoying and shrill and just doesn’t get that marriage Isn’t That Important, Okay? You can’t just get married for the sake of getting married, it has to be on the right terms and at the right time and maybe not at all.

Which always annoyed me, because marriage IS hugely important for the financial survival of women in the period and place Austen is writing about, and a mother being obsessed with getting her 5 (!) provincial, not very wealthy to begin with, largely of-marriageable-age daughters settled is really not weird or unusual. It’s basically what a good parent is supposed to do. The fact that their dad is basically Unconcerned makes him a not-very-good dad, and while I wouldn’t expect the daughters themselves to necessarily realize this, I would expect the narrative to acknowledge it.

So, chapter 1 is very short and it’s only a conversation, but I’m glad that so far, at least, it seems to me like the book is painting Mr Bennet to be flawed as much as Mrs Bennet is flawed. Yes, she might be too forward and pushy, but Mr Bennet won’t even get off his arse and go say hi to the wealthy neighbor who just moved in so he could be introduced to his five daughters. He literally only has one job to do as a man – make the introduction, open the gateway for the women to interact with a young bachelor within the bounds of propriety, and he’s still like “uh, idk” and kind of trolls his wife about it.

Maybe this will change later on, but so far I’m pleased the book feels different from the adaptations on this.

Well, I think that’s it for this time. See you when I’ve read more of this thing.

Reading Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” for the first time!

6104-square-1536Hello friends!

Yes, you read the title right, in these Difficult Times I’ve decided to read “Pride and Prejudice” for the first time ever, and apparently blog about it. Don’t ask me why, this decision was made at the height of the COVID-19 quarantine, even though I’m only finding time for it now, when quarantine is (so far) mostly over for me.

This post will mostly be disclaimers and general info, if only so that I can refer people to it later (assuming anyone but me ever reads this lol).

Have you really never read this book before?

A fun fact about me is that I’ve not only never read Pride & Prejudice, I’ve actually never read a single Austen novel. This is mostly because:

Although I grew up reading a lot of 18th and 19th century literature (and generally read very few books published after 1950 prior to turning eighteen), very few of the authors I read were women. In fact, almost none of them were.

I was raised with the attitude that the time to read classics is at the beginning of your reading life, because the more contemporary things you read, the more they’ll be based on the classics (of whatever literary tradition you’re consuming) and reading it in the “wrong order” will not be as enjoyable.

So, as an adult I made peace with never having read Austen, and satisfied myself with watching screen adaptations of her work (in the last five years I’ve watched both the mini-series with Colin Firth and the movie with Keira Knightley). But then, as detailed above, the pandemic happened, and I guess the world changing changed something in me as well, hah.

I grew up in between several countries where English was a foreign language, and the literary canon didn’t shun Austen but also didn’t necessarily consider her essential. I never studied Austen at school, my parents had a fairly large library and a passionate commitment to books and still we never had a copy of her work at home, and I don’t even remember encountering her at my small school library.

It’s important for me to establish this because I think a lot of my internet friends think of me as a native English speaker – I’m really not, I speak very little English in my daily life and neither my formal education nor my work experience has ever been primarily conducted in English – and there’s a different weight to not reading Austen if you’re from the Anglosphere.
So, to clear up any misunderstandings, I am very much A Foreigner 🙂


Wait, so you know what happens in P&P, right?

I do! From the filmed adaptations. I’m looking forward to discovering what’s actually on the page.


What are your reading plans?

I’m not sure! I’m not a very fast reader, so this will for sure take a while, and I’m not planning to write up my thoughts at any regular intervals, but whenever I have the time and inclination.


Okay, I want to follow this journey!

Yay! Probably the best way to do that is to either follow this blog (if that’s a thing one can still do?) or follow me on Twitter where I’ll be posting about it occasionally.

Three things I learned from finishing the second draft of my novel

patrick-tomasso-Oaqk7qqNh_c-unsplashHello again, friends!

So, as some of you may be aware, in November 2018 I used NaNoWriMo to write the first 50,000 words of my fantasy novel (it’s set in a Middle Ages style military matriarchy! I’m still very excited about that fact) and then by March 2019 I had a full novel draft of about 80,000 words.

I felt like the text needed a lot of clean up and revision before it could it could be shared with anyone, there were a lot of “[insert name here]” type things, which I felt would get in the way of people getting what the story was trying to do and enjoying the characters and so on. I wanted useful feedback, and at that stage the text was just too rough for an outsider to get a clear view of it.

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Thoughts on “Portrait of a Lady on Fire”

0_Portrait-of-a-Lady-on-Fire-review-5-stars-included-on-one-pic-pixI had some thoughts about French director Céline Sciamma’s movie “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” and for once instead of trying to shop them around to publications thought I’d just put them here, for whoever might want to read them. The short version is: I liked this movie and it gave me thinky thoughts.

(Caution: below are SPOILERS for the whole movie!)

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Meet me at Worldcon!

D2019In about a week I’ll be arriving in Dublin to attend Worldcon! I’ll be doing five panels and a talk and would love to see you there.

Unfortunately, I’m going to have some mobility issues when I’m there, so I don’t know how many events that aren’t the stuff I’m committed to I’ll be able to attend :/ But hopefully I’ll still get to see everyone who wants to say hi!

So, without further ado, my full schedule (which you can also see at my speaker page on Grenadine):


Is Hari Seldon’s project becoming achievable?

Format: Panel
16 Aug 2019, Friday 16:30 – 17:20, Alhambra (Point Square Dublin)

People have long tried to predict future outcomes of nations or personal behaviour. Prediction is now enhanced by big data and machine learning. Panellists consider which events we already can predict with high probability. With stochasticity, which events will we never ‘get’? What mechanisms would prevent misuse (e.g. for advertising or influencing voting)? What would trigger a ‘Seldon Crisis’?


Hugo finalists discussion: Best Dramatic Presentation

Format: Panel
16 Aug 2019, Friday 19:00 – 19:50, Wicklow Hall-1 (CCD)

Our panel will discuss this year’s finalists in the Hugo Award category for Best Dramatic Presentation. What will win? What should win? And what else should have been shortlisted?


The portrayal of disability in art

Format: Panel
17 Aug 2019, Saturday 14:30 – 15:20, Odeon 4 (Point Square Dublin)

People with disabilities are woefully under-represented in art of all kinds. What are the right and wrong ways to portray disability? How can we encourage artists to increase this representation and to do it in a fair and realistic manner?


Winter came

Format: Panel
17 Aug 2019, Saturday 17:00 – 17:50, Wicklow Room-4 (CCD)

It’s over. Let’s talk about how it ended: what worked, what didn’t, and what the legacy and influence of Game of Thrones is likely to be.


Women write about war

Format: Talk
19 Aug 2019, Monday 10:00 – 10:50, Wicklow Hall-1 (CCD)

Science fiction and fantasy often deal with war, violence and military life. What clichés have developed in this genre, and why? And can things be done differently? Three books by women in the 21st century that deal directly with war – Naomi Novik’s His Majesty’s Dragon, Karin Lowachee’s Warchild, and Kameron Hurley’s God’s War – present alternative visions of violent conflict and point to new ways of subverting familiar narratives.


Rossetti to Rhee: the speculative and the poetic

Format: Panel
19 Aug 2019, Monday 14:00 – 14:50, Wicklow Room-1 (CCD)

A panel where SFF poets will talk about SFF poetry and its unique challenges and freedoms, the traditions of the genre, where they see speculative poetry going in the future, and the connections between speculative poetry and speculative prose.

Things I wrote in 2018

New year 2019At the start of 2018 I had a few writing goals: spend the first six months of the year writing short stories (hopefully about one a month) and the last six months working on my novel draft. I hoped I’d have half of my first draft done by 2019, but I knew these were very optimistic plans.



I had two poems published! Which turned out to be my two publications for the year. I’m still enormously happy (and a little surprised, frankly) that every poem I’ve submitted to editors so far has been accepted for publication somewhere.

In February Only the Trees came out in Arsenika. I really love this indulgent love poem, because most of the poetry I’ve ever written was love poetry, unlike my fiction which has had a lot less romantic content. I’m so happy it found a home and people seemed to enjoy it.

In September Strange Horizons published Survival in Six Easy Steps, probably my most political poem so far and the one I’m still the most proud of. It’s hard to talk about, for me, because it just feels like the articulation of a truth that’s been with me and will stay with me for a long while if not the rest of my life.


I told myself I was going to take it easy on the nonfiction this year and focus more on fiction, but of course ended up writing the same amount of articles as last year. /o\

The full list:

I do consider it the epitome of my ~personal brand~ that I wrote an article on how to worldbuild your fictional military correctly and an article on how Romance should be taken more seriously as SF/F within months of each other. It doesn’t get more me than that.

But I got to write for four different outlets this year! Three of them entirely new for me! It has been a struggle though, to sit on my hands and NOT pitch articles about things like “The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina”, or “Titans” or “She-Ra and the Princesses of Power” because I Do Not Have Time To Write More Articles.

Short Stories

I ended up writing three short stories in the first half of 2018, about 50% of my most optimistic estimate. One was accepted for publication and will be out next year, one is still making the rounds among various magazines, one is still unfinished.

In general, writing short stories is a really long, arduous process for me, something I kind of knew going into 2018, but was hoping to somehow improve at. No joke, a short story can take me about 8 months from conception to finished product, when a full edit of my nearly-novel-length novella took me two months.

At the end of September I was lucky enough to meet Ann Leckie, one of my favorite writers, at an SF/F con and even luckier to find myself sitting next to her at a dinner table. There were a few other writers present, and I shared my experience of short stories absolute torture for me, they took so long and I felt like producing publishable stuff was an endless process. And then Ann Leckie told me I should just forget about short stories and focus on my book instead.

For some reason having that affirmation from a writer I so deeply admire gave me some kind of mental push to just say, forget about short stories for a while, focus on the novel. Whenever my brain tries to tell me I’ll never amount to anything if I can’t even produce decent short stories I can tell it to shut up because Ann Leckie told me I was allowed to focus on other things, haha.

The Novel

Oh hey, I can update about this now! Me writing a novel is a real thing, not something that exists solely in my head! The working title is Empress of Ashes.

I spent November writing 50,000 words of my first draft (all of it will be scrapped for the second draft, but that was a given), ended up doing other things entirely in December, and am now going to get back to writing that last 30k in January! Every day we get ever closer to the magical moment when I can experience resounding rejection from agents and publishers about my very own novel!

What’s next?

What’s my writing wishlist for 2019?

If I’m very, very fortunate, I hope to have the second draft of the novel done by the end of the year, and maybe even be in the process of a third draft (out of, hopefully, no more than five, but who knows). I hope I can take time in between drafts to write at least one short story (plus finish the one I started this year).

It’s a lot of grunt work. I suspect I’ll have even fewer publication credits next year, compared to this year. But I knew this time had to come if I wanted any hope of publishing a book. So, here we go.

5 Things I Learned From My First NaNoWriMo


So, as some of you may know, I spent November of this year writing just over 50,000 words in 30 days. It was INTENSE, it was unbelievable, it was better than I’d hoped and nothing like what I’d expected. I decided to write down some lessons, mostly for myself for the next time I decide to try NaNo, but also for anyone who might want to read my conclusions from attempting and successfully completing NaNo for the first time.


Why did you do NaNoWriMo?

I’ve wanted to do NaNo for at least 5-7 years, and always wished I’d had the time in November to write every day. But until last year I was in undergrad and then in grad school (while working full time) and November was too packed with school things and I knew I’d have to either sacrifice academics or sacrifice writing at some point and I didn’t want to go on this stressful, intense journey already knowing I would fail. (You can set any word goal for NaNo, of course, but I found it counterproductive to do the challenge at a time when I knew there was no way I’d get to 50k).


Why did you decide to do NaNo in 2018?

First, because I handed in my Master’s thesis last November, so this year was the first time I was a free elf \o/ and could realistically dedicate myself to NaNo.

Second, because I’ve been working on a Fantasy novel for the last few years and once I’d handed in my thesis I was able to work on it even more, so by October 2018 I finally had a complete outline! Three acts, all the characters and emotional arcs, I had a beautiful, reasonably detailed structure that was ready for demolition by the cruel reality of actually writing a book.

It just so happened that I’d spent the last two weeks of October freaking out in the general direction of all my friends that I had to, like, actually write a first draft now, and that was terrifying because you couldn’t take a first draft back. Once you started, it would always be there, in the back of your mind, as something you didn’t manage to complete, or in an extremely, extremely unlikely case it would grow into a published book.

So, after freaking for a while, I finally sat down to write the draft on October 31st. And then promptly realized the next day that everyone was talking about NaNoWriMo, and hey, I could actually just do that instead of writing my draft without a clear schedule? I signed up on the website on November 1st and that was that.


So what did you actually learn?

Wait! Before we get into that: let me say up front that all the advice I’m about to offer may not work for you. For example: I love deadlines. I’m mostly not a discovery writer, so I could only write a good draft quickly if I already had an outline.

Another fact: the most necessary thing for completing NaNoWriMo is time to write, if not every day then a reasonable amount a week. For most people, this means a certain freedom from obligations – professional, family, health related. I had a full time job and a disability (still do!) and NaNo was a huge challenge, time-wise. Maybe the most important thing I learned was how privileged I was to have the time that I did, and how easily I could have lost that time, if my health had been even slightly worse, or if family obligations had been greater that month.

Please remember that and be kind to yourself.

Actually, please be kind to yourself in general!


#1: Log your words immediately

Most of the people I’d talked to who’d done NaNo were writing their text somewhere – a Word file, Google Docs, email drafts on their phone, whatever, occasionally checking the word count until they hit 1667 words for the day, and then logging that into the NaNo website, sometimes putting in the amount they’d accumulated over several days.

When I was struggling to get the words out I started putting my word count into the NaNo website much earlier. Starting with the first 500 words or so I’d managed to write that day. Then I started putting any round number into the website – 300, 400, etc.

And then finally, in the last 10 days, I started putting my word count in from the very first sentence or paragraph. I started registering 27 words, 32 words, 47 words.

Once you put in that number the total word count for the project doesn’t change much, especially later in the month. But for some reason instead of staring blankly at the page, letting the website know I’d produced 27 words already spurred me on and gave me a happy little note to focus on, instead of the negativity of all the words I still had to get done.

I found that if I was stuck on beginning my output for the day I’d just write a sentence or two, put the number into the website, save it, then write a few more sentences, do the same, then a few more, and then the words started flowing much quicker.

Usually my updates on the website went like this: 27 -> 48 -> 89 -> 156 -> 320 -> 670 -> 1123 -> 1662

Sometimes it even went: 27 -> 48 -> 156 -> 620 -> 1662

Obviously the exact numbers varied by day, but you get the idea. It really taught me the power of positive reinforcement and how even the smallest sense of achievement can give you momentum to go forward (I’d always assumed that the danger of small achievements was that you’d not want to keep going now that you’d gotten to feel good about Doing the Thing. Turns out it works the other way around, at least for me.)


#2 Give yourself as much positive reinforcement for writing as possible

Sticking with the theme from the first point, I’d always liked Written? Kitten! as a writer, and thought it was a cute idea to get pictures of cats (or any other object, you can change the parameters!) for every 100 words. But I never used it consistently when writing, I found it distracting and it felt like more of a cute gimmick.

With NaNo it became my lifesaver. I literally had it open in a tab next to my draft every single day. My process went: get to 100 words, and from there whenever you feel stuck, even a little, use either WK or the NaNo website to give yourself a tiny boost of accomplishment and positive reinforcement. Do I have another hundred words yet? If not, add what I do have to my word count on the NaNo website, and look at the stats change, even just a tiny bit.

If I do have over 100 new words? Put them into WK and get a lovely new cat.


Observe the cat for a moment, look at its majestic fluffiness, let yourself feel joy at the thought of this cat’s existence, imagine yourself petting the cat. Doesn’t that feel nice? The cat wants you to succeed. It’s happy to see you here, making a hundred words happen, so it can meet you. Don’t you want to meet another cat?

Great, back to the draft!

I won’t deny this sounds pretty ridiculous, but for me going from writing a short story in 2 months to writing 50,000 words in a month was also pretty ridiculous. Whatever works.


#3 Plan for not getting anything else done in November

On November 1st I thought to myself – I can totally write every day for a month. I’ll do it after work and on weekends, it’ll mean I’m a bit busier, but it won’t be that big of a deal.

But the thing I didn’t realize was that every day meant EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And most days getting the words out is HARD, it takes a WHILE and it’s mentally exhausting if you’re not used to it (or at least it was for me). Some days you won’t be able to get to 1667 and you’ll have to make it up on other days. Some days you’ll have commitments that can’t be postponed and you’ll be at zero.

A selection of random events that I didn’t realize would fall in November and take up my time: late Halloween parties, Thanksgiving, winter holidays related shopping, Black Friday with its endless digital sales. None of these things were crucial to my survival, but I didn’t realize how much NaNo would mean not having time for ANY of it. And while it’s possible to take days off during NaNo, I found that more than one day “off” in a row could be disastrous for me. So if I did want to fit something in – for example, shopping for gifts for my loved ones – I had to plan for it, and know I would “pay” for it later.

I got a lot of non-NaNo things done in November (I took time off NaNo to write an article about Magic and Romance and KJ Charles for for example!) but I wish I’d been smarter and realized I needed to clear my plate AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE for November and pause as few commitments as possible because just keeping up with NaNo would be exhausting.


#4 It’s OK to have zero-words days sometimes

At some point in November you will probably have a zero words day. Maybe it’ll be because of an event you can’t miss or postpone, maybe something unexpected will land in your lap, or maybe you’ll just feel so goddamn exhausted after getting everything else done that day that you won’t have the brain to write before the clock strikes midnight.

Going into NaNo, I was really worried I’d lose momentum and get discouraged if I started missing days, especially once I realized how hard I had to work just to keep up. For me, the idea of actually getting to 50k in a month seemed so unlikely and impossible that I knew if I let myself get too far behind I’d quickly starting *believing* I couldn’t do it, even if in reality I still had a chance.

In total, I took 5 days “off” from NaNo in November. Sometimes it was other commitments (like writing an article), sometimes it was exhaustion and sometimes it was simply disability, which ensured I couldn’t get the words out that day.

There were two rules I tried to set for myself regarding “missed” days.

  • Never two missed days in a row. Making up 1667 words in addition to my regular daily word count was hard enough, I feared missing two days would leave too big of a gap and my brain would just start believing I couldn’t do NaNo.
  • Let myself make up the word count gradually, instead of feeling stressed that I had to make it up as soon as possible, preferably the very next day.

I told myself I had to sacrifice that daily sense of achievement for the 5-6 days, after a zero-words day, and know that I would slowly close that gap, with a few hundred words at a time.

So for example if I had a 1667 word deficit on Sunday, it would grow smaller like this:

Sunday: 1667

Monday: 1320

Tuesday: 988

Wednesday: 610

Thursday: 267

Friday: 0

Keeping it to a few hundred words a day, instead of feeling like I had to write twice my usual output in one day to make up for it, kept the anxiety about being “behind” manageable. Also, with this plan I was still writing under 2000 words a day, and staying in the 1667-2000 range seemed less scary than knowing I had to write over 2000 all at once.

(I had days when I wrote over 2000, and even over 3000 words, but they weren’t days when I HAD to write that much, which made a huge difference to my stress levels.)



Here’s a detailed chart of my daily word counts. You can see that occasionally there’s a dip in the daily graph, for example on day 16 and day 23, that then slowly gets filled up over the next few days.


#5 Track how much time you’re spending on NaNo

One of the things no one told me about NaNoWriMo is that the website offers the option of tracking hours spent working instead of words produced. (Even some of my friends who’d done NaNo before were surprised to learn this!)

When I started NaNo I didn’t actually think I’d get to 50k (as I was writing from an outline I was determined to produce decent quality prose and not simply write to stretch my writing muscles and make word count no matter what, so getting to 50k seemed unlikely) so instead I set myself some alternative goals.

I decided that the most I could realistically hope for would be 25,000 words. If I got that done, it would be a HUGE achievement.


(Luckily I was able to surpass 25,000, but having that reminder that this is what I’d realistically aspired to was important, again as a form of positive reinforcement to keep myself going.)

But I wanted to know I’d still feel accomplished, even if I didn’t produce 25k. I wanted to know I’d given NaNo my all, and really invested more in writing in November than ever before. So I decided to track the one thing I could control much better than my creative output – the time I spent trying to write.

So I set myself a goal of 40 hours, the equivalent of a full time work week (minus the lunch breaks). Basically, could I work 5 weeks instead of 4 in November, where one week was my writing job on top of my regular job?

To give you an idea, on an average week I spend about 5 hours writing. That’s about 20 hours a month. NaNo would mean doubling that, which was a huge commitment for me, and as we’ve discussed required clearing my schedule and missing out on a lot of things.


Here’s the graph for hours spent writing. I updated this every 2-3 days sometimes, which is why it looks uneven. I also ended up writing for about 43 hours, but I didn’t know the website wouldn’t let you update stats after the last day, so I never did log those last few hours.

On the tough days, when I wasn’t sure if I would make the word count, having that time tracker was a lifesaver. No matter what, even if I only managed 10,000 words, or less than that, I would know I was making huge strides, huge sacrifices, and giving writing the book my very best shot. I could look at that graph and know that whatever my word output, there was tangible proof that I was doing more work than ever before.

I highly, highly recommend that to anyone who isn’t sure if they can do 50k in a month and who is as anxiety prone as I am.


What’s next?

Of course, my novel will not be 50,000 words long (this is true for most Fantasy novels). I estimate the first draft will be between 75,000 and 85,000 words (I feel even more confident in that assessment now that I’m 50,000 words in). My book has three parts, and NaNo got me right to the beginning of part 3, as I thought it would.

I forced myself to take a “vacation” from writing in the first week of December, and didn’t actually touch my draft, or any of the commitments I’d set aside while I was too busy with NaNo. I needed that break, my brain needed that break. I was sleep deprived and emotionally exhausted from writing so much story so quickly.

I thought I’d spend the second week of December catching up on everything writing-related that  didn’t get done in November: going over line edits for a short story that will be published in an anthology next year, writing a short story as a present for a friend, writing this post while my memories of NaNo were fresh, other bits and bobs like replying to editors and sending out stories.

Of course, only one week was not nearly enough for that. Here we are at the end of it, and I’ve barely gotten 50% of these things done. I’ve decided to give myself as much time as I need to really clear my plate so I can dive back into the final 30,000 words of my draft without feeling constantly torn about lagging commitments. NaNo taught me how stressful that can be.

So, wish me luck for the next 30,000 words? I hope to get them started in 2018, but no doubt I’ll be doing the majority of the work in 2019. What a scary, exciting prospect for the new year 🙂


Can we read some of your manuscript???

I’m not sure any of you actually want to do that, but I know I was always curious to see the quality of writing authors can produce during NaNo, and to see how rough it really was. I can tell you that by my own estimation, my 50,000 is about 10% “worse” than the same prose would have been if I’d written it without NaNo, in my own sweet time. I know this about myself: my first drafts aren’t really readable yet, they’re just fodder that will later turn into a second draft, that I will actually hopefully be able to send beta readers.

But as long as we’re all here, and as long as you’re curious (I mean, if you’re still reading I have to assume that you are), here’s a short bit from the draft, towards the start of the book, in which a queen and her mother are discussing the queen’s upcoming wedding.


“It was purely a courtesy that her mother announced herself, instead of simply barging in as she was in the habit of doing, like a reminder that nothing, not this palace, or the country at large, or even Elro’s private rooms were truly hers.

“I won’t ask for an apology,” her mother began, as soon as she was ushered in. Elro stood by her bed, dressed in a thin shirt and a robe. She usually had someone read to her while she fell asleep. “But I hope you at least realize how inappropriate your behavior has been.”

Elro struggled not to roll her eyes. That wouldn’t make this go any faster. “Do enlighten me.”

“The Regent has sent you an ideal match. A boy from the main branch of the Yaritemi clan. His dowry is the equivalent of two months’ taxes for your treasury. He comes with a pristine reputation. Nothing but glowing accounts, from his tutors to his peers.” Her mother’s face hardened. “And what do you do? Turn a cold shoulder, act like a distant relative invited to the wedding party.”

That did make Elro roll her eyes. “Am I supposed to court him? The wedding is a week away, it’s a bit late for that. And surely you don’t want me to touch him before then, so what am I supposed to do?”

Her mother spread her hands in exasperation. “Talk to him! Show some initiative, some leadership! Remind him he’s marrying a queen, not a servant.”

“Is that what you did with Father?” Elro asked.

Her mother’s face went dark. “Your father, may his soul rest with the ancestors, was a model of chastity, loyalty and manners. He was in a unique position, a man ruling over a country, having to display all the strength of a woman while maintaining his own caring nature. He welcomed me warmly and made sure I never felt awkward at court.”

“And were you the best bride the Regent had to offer?” Elro asked.

Her mother hesitated. This was a sure way to get under her skin. “We were a very good match, yes.”

Not the question Elro had asked. Not that it mattered, she already knew the answer.”

I know not everything about that excerpt makes sense, but I hope that gives you a little glimpse?

Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you’ll wish me luck in finishing this book some day? And also that any of what I’ve said about NaNo will be useful to you in your own writing.

New article! Magic, history and queer romance

KJCharles-booksHello friends! I’ve found that I usually write up to 4 non-fiction articles a year these days, that’s a number that seems to balance well with my fiction writing, but in 2018 I got to write 5! I pitched this article right before basically being away from my computer for a month, heard back from the (wonderful) editor while I was traveling in China, had to postpone writing it because of, among other things, a death in the family, and eventually ended up writing it in the middle of (successfully!) doing NaNoWriMo for the first time. So, it’s been eventful around these parts!

Anyway, I’ve wanted to write about KJ Charles’ work for a long time for an SFF publication, because I’m tired of there being a brick wall between “SFF” and most “Romance”, especially when it comes to queer romance (which is also not exactly embraced by the mainstream Romance industry).

So, if you already know and love KJ Charles’ books I hope you enjoy my take on them, and if you’ve never heard of her before, I hope this serves as a good introduction!

In my experience, people who’ve read at least two of Charles’ books (she’s published about twenty of them) have a tendency to then read extensive swaths of her backlist. Her novels provide something rare in the literary market even today, in 2018: well-researched historical, fantastical fiction that features love stories between queer people.

Genres are flawed, porous constructs, and many stories live in between the established categories or straddle several of them, which doesn’t make a bookseller’s job very easy. The reason we recommend a book by saying “it’s X genre” is that it’s a shortcut to saying: “it’s the sort of thing you like.”

Read History, Queer Romance, and Fantasy Combine in the Work of KJ Charles on

New poem! “Survival in Six Easy Steps”

asdfsdfsI have a new poem out in Strange Horizons! It’s called “Survival in Six Easy Steps” and it’s very different from most of the poems I’ve written before. For one thing: it doesn’t have a love story.

I wrote it at the start of 2018, when all the political things that are currently going on in the world were just starting to happen, and I thought about how many of my friends felt like they needed a vacation, an escape, just to be able to deal with it all, and I thought of how often stress is literally a killer for marginalized people who speak up and dedicate their lives to activism, especially in the wake of a traumatic event. And so, I wrote this poem, about survival and the wilderness and not being able to escape the real world and how we keep living anyway.

You need to go into the wilderness, but there’s no one to take you.
There are women living under your bed,
in the refrigerator,
on every tree branch
on your way to work.

Their eyes are all different—
angry, hopeful, surprised, afraid—
but their hands are all the same. Cold,
bloodless, pulling your lids
up when you’re falling
asleep. Watching you brush
your teeth in the mirror, hiding
your good underwear in the back
of the drawer, forcing you to reach
down. Some days you roll your eyes
at them. Petty, like children.

Read the full poem at Strange Horizons: Survival in Six Easy Steps.

Tiptree Award jury (please recommend me things!)

31235042_603090526698898_6842628392886468608_oToday I have some really exciting news to share.

I’ve been invited to be part of the jury for the Tiptree Literary Award for 2018!

I’ve been a huge fan of the award (and all the other Tiptree projects) since I first became aware of it years ago, so I’m very very excited to be part of it this year.

But enough of my excitement, let’s get to the important part. The jury needs works to consider! And that’s where you come in. The Tiptree Award is open to your recommendations for works that qualify and were published in 2017.

You can recommend us things by filling out this form

(and if you scroll down you can see all the works that have already been nominated by other people)

Please give me awesome spec fic to read that expands our understanding of gender! 🙂